


sudden starts of your ink

by nedstark



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Family, Letters, Parenthood, Pre-Series, about a third of the way to self-indulgence city, could be read as a follow-up to want and worth??, pfff, set a few months after it, strained mild affection au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-10 03:30:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4375508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nedstark/pseuds/nedstark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every letter, without fail or lie: <i><b>your family miss you.</b></i></p>
            </blockquote>





	sudden starts of your ink

**Author's Note:**

> “Only write to me, write to me, I love to see the hop and skip and sudden starts of your ink.”  
> ― A.S. Byatt, Possession
> 
> “More than kisses, letters mingle souls.”  
> ― John Donne, To Sir Henry Wotton

No matter the temperament they departed on or how little or often they wrote. Always, in each and every one of her letters to him, Selyse would write **_your family miss you_**.

Stannis recalled the first time he saw those words in her small neat script. It only started months after Shireen was born.

After more than half a year after Shireen's birth he had left Dragonstone and his family for King's Landing and his seat on the small council. There was only so much he could do while not in person and he hadn't had to read between the lines of Lord Arryn's polite letter. 

The sun was a slit of burning gold. Clouds smudged the sky. The sea was calm all but for a steady wind. He was to set sail that morning.

Selyse stood on the pier with Shireen in her arms. He hadn't wanted them there but Selyse insisted. Beside his wife and daughter stood Selyse's lady's maids, a few knights and Ser Axell.

"Farewell, my lord." Selyse had said and meant it. She of all people knew of his distaste (to say the least) for the sea. She curtsied as best she could with a baby in her arms. Her maids joined her and the knights all bowed.

"My lady." Stannis nodded. At his side his squire and cousin Andrew Estermont bowed perhaps lower than necessary but Selyse smiled all the same (perhaps at the sudden smudge of grime on his nose)

Shireen's eyes were as wide as saucers as they took in the world around her. She clutched a strand of Selyse's hair and mouthed at it as she gazed about. Selyse didn't seem to notice or mind.

Stannis slowly stepped closer and plucked the ashy blonde hair from Shireen's mouth. She seemed surprised but didn't mourn the sudden loss for long. She smiled, not a tooth in sight, and grabbed for his hand instead. Shireen held his hand to her and laughed, all pealing baby brightness. Stannis had no idea why she found it so amusing. She held it away from her and then hugged it close again, still giggling into his palm all the while.

He'd heard the sound before but it never failed to cause him wordless pause, almost wonder. He fleetingly wished he didn't have to return to King's Landing, absurdly longed for the familiar cavernous halls of Dragonstone and the steady presence of his family.

Just as Shireen was deciding whether or not to chew his knuckles next, the ship captain signalled the all ready.

Selyse squeezed his wrist and gently pried Shireen's barely there grip off his fingers. Stannis closed his mouth. Words failed him. He withdrew and simply nodded to wife again and made to board the ship. Andrew followed him after one more (definitely unnecessary) bow.

A month in King's Landing later a letter from Dragonstone arrived. That's when he saw it for the first time. 

_**Your family miss you.**_

It didn't sink in the first few times he read it.

 _ **How can you know that?**_ The words appeared beneath his quill before he knew he was writing them. _**She is a baby still, she cannot tell you herself.**_

 _ **She knows your voice, my lord, and she knows the absence of your voice,**_ was Selyse's written reply not a week later. She went on to tell him the latest petty vassal spats she and Ser Axell swiftly dealt with. Of Shireen's development, her babbling and how she holds anything she can get her little hands on, damage expenses of the hull of one ship or another, and finally that his family still miss him.

He keeps the letter. Both of them. He does not spare his actions much thought, but he keeps them.

Stannis doesn't write for two months, and not out of choice. His duties of late are hectic and he simply hasn't the time. He feels the full weight of seven kingdoms on his shoulders when he finally retires to his chambers well past midnight.

Andrew serves him his light meal in appreciated silence and fills his goblet with water. "A letter came for you, my lord."

Stannis accepts the letter and dismisses him for the night. The boy has been almost as busy as himself. He sees the letter is stamped with Selyse's seal.

Something catches his eye in the top corner. It's a scribble he can't quite make out. He squints at what could be absolutely anything, but for the life of him has no idea why Selyse would scrawl in a such a way.

He scans the rest of the letter. Nothing of great importance, except Selyse telling him Cressen fell hard and broke his hip a week past and fears he will never truly recover.

_**Your daughter wished to write to her lord father too. I think she did well considering it is her first try (and only little help)  
Your family miss you. Write when you can, I know you are busy with more important matters.**_

_**Selyse (and Shireen) __** _

Stannis thumbs the scrawl of his daughters hand. He reads the last part of the letter once, twice, before he tucks it away in the drawer atop the other two and retires for the night.

The next morning he rises with the sun. Duty calls as it always does but before he even gives a thought to the days tasks ahead, he sits and writes his reply. The words come no easier, but he writes them with a determination and somehow feels that much better for writing them. He seals the letter with care and takes it to the rookery. He watches the black gleam of the raven's wings until it disappears across the sea and fades into the horizon.

**Author's Note:**

> this could alternatively be called 'absence makes the heart grow as fond(ish) as it can get'
> 
> quotes in the top note almost definitely do NOT relate to Stannis and Selyse (and Shireen) lets be real pfff we're not that deep into au territory more like just about toeing the edge. But they're nice quotes and I sorta had them in mind when I was writing this
> 
> also I had to google baby age and development (and teeth too) lmao anyway apparently advanced babies scribble at one year old well I'm ignoring canon so Shireen starts scribbling at around 9 months (which is when Stannis gets the letter)
> 
> lastly thanks for all the kind words/tags/kudos on the last fic, it really means a lot!


End file.
